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Positive Parenting and PRIDE Skills

Tuesday, May 7th, 2013

Here is a great tool to help you connect with your child on a deeper level:

P.R.I.D.E. skills open up doors to increase relationship and control when you are interacting with your child on a daily basis. These PRIDE skills are a component of Parent–Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) which is a form of therapy developed by Sheila Eyberg for children ages 2–7 and their caregivers.

PRIDE is an acronym that stands for:

Praise
Reflect
Imitate
Describe
Enthusiasm

By using these five communication tools,we can all experience a more satisfying relationship with our children.. All of us need emotional connection and control (Maslow’s hierarchy of needs). So the PRIDE skills give an intense dose to both of these needs.

At CALM, we teach the Love and Logic curriculum These tools work really well! But using PRIDE skills once a day for 5 minutes delivers even more choices and empathy benefits.

Here is a PRIDE parenting skills handout that outlines how to engage with PRIDE skills during play time. Be aware that the time stated on the handout (10-15 minutes per day) has changed. Research indicates that PRIDE play done for 5 minutes per day is enough to fill a child emotionally and it is do-able for parents.

Here is how you use the PRIDE skills:

1) Set up a play table.

2) Tell the child that this is “our special play time” and he/she may play with any of the toys on the table.

3) Next, apply the PRIDE skills to the play time.

4) When 5 minutes (or more if you want, but remember 5 minutes is enough) is over, tell your child that “special playtime is over, but you will play again tomorrow.” Then give a choice of how many toys to pick up. Be sure to not get into a power struggle over clean up.

5) The Don’ts are:

No Questions
No Commands
No Criticism

Questions and commands put you as dominant and this is a time that the child leads the play.

If you have a child over the age of 7 years, the PRIDE skills can also be used in normal interaction.

This article was excerpted from: http://www.impactparenting.com/impact-parenting-blog/how-to-use-pride-parenting-skills-to-develop-a-deeper-relati.html

Posted in For Parents, For Teachers, Resources

7 Tips for Parenting When You’re Angry

Thursday, February 28th, 2013

By Lori Freson, MA, MFT

Are you an angry parent? Unfortunately, parenting a child doesn’t come with a handbook called “How to Parent”. Disciplining children is one of the most exhausting and overwhelming things you will ever do. And since you are human, sometimes you will get angry and just lose it. It happens to all of us. But parenting when you’re angry is never a good idea. Haven’t you ever noticed that the more intense your anger gets, the worse your children’s behavior becomes? Kids react to the angry parent.

Children know how to push our buttons, which is precisely why it’s incredibly important to learn how to manage your anger. Here are 7 Anger Management Techniques to think about with child discipline:

1. Give yourself a break. You are human, and therefore experience a wide range of emotions, even towards your own kids. One of those feelings sometimes is anger. It’s ok.

2. Try, try, try not to take the bait. Your child will undoubtedly throw out some zinger comment that he knows will get you riled up. Don’t let it…if you do, he will know that he has control over you and will continue this behavior endlessly.

3. Disengage. That means take a step a back. Sometimes we’ve taken the bait before we even realize it’s happened. So stop…take a deep breath, and reassess what is going on. Walk away if you need to. Sometimes it is necessary so that things don’t continue to escalate. Come back when you feel calm and collected.

4. Use your words to communicate clearly what is going on. For example, “I’m very angry right now. I’ve asked you three times to put your toys away, and you haven’t done it. It’s very frustrating for me when I have to say things over and over before you listen. And when I’m angry and frustrated, I tend to yell.”

5. Take better care of yourself. When you are tired, stressed, and hungry, your patience and tolerance will be low, and you will find yourself snapping at everyone. Get some sleep, eat a healthy meal, and take a walk or a run.

6. Let it go. I know it’s hard…but you need to learn to let go of what’s already happened…that’s in the past. Move on from it, or one little problem in the morning can ruin your entire day.

7. ASK FOR HELP! There is nothing wrong with asking for help from a spouse, family member, friend, or babysitter. We’ve all been there. Nobody can do any job 24/7 without a break from time to time. Take one. You deserve it.

About Lori Freson MA, MFT

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Southern California. I’ve been working in the mental health field since 1997, and have been a licensed therapist since 2002. I currently work in my own thriving private practice in Encino, where I serve the San Fernando Valley and Los Angeles areas.

View all posts by Lori Freson MA, MFT →

Posted in Resources