April, 2012

How Do Great Parents…Manage Stress and Anger

Thursday, April 26th, 2012

Stress and Anger

(material provided by The Incredible Years, Carolyn Webster-Stratton, Ph.D.)

  • Scan your body for tension, and breathe and relax.
  • Notice any negative self-statements and replace them with soothing self-encouragement.
  • Ask yourself if what is making you feel tense is really that important? Will it make a difference a week from now? A year? When you are 70?
  • Visualize some marvelous past event or dream of the future.
  • In the middle of conflict, breathe, cool off, get playful, or get away for a few minutes.
  • Take a break (go for a walk, take a bath, read a magazine.)

Part 9 of 13

Posted in Resources

How Do Great Parents…Develop Natural and Logical Consequences

Wednesday, April 25th, 2012

Natural and Logical Consequences

(material provided by The Incredible Years, Carolyn Webster-Stratton, Ph.D.)

  • Make consequences age-appropriate.
  • Be sure you can live with consequences you set up.
  • Make consequences immediate.
  • Give child choice of consequence ahead of time.
  • Make consequence natural and nonpunitive.
  • Involve child whenever possible.
  • Be friendly and polite.
  • Use consequences that are short and to the point.
  • Quickly offer new learning opportunities to be successful.

Part 8 of 13

Posted in Resources

How Do Great Parents…Implement Time Outs

Tuesday, April 24th, 2012

Time Out

(material provided by The Incredible Years, Carolyn Webster-Stratton, Ph.D.)

  • Be polite.
  • Be prepared for testing.
  • Monitor anger in order to avoid exploding suddenly; give warnings.
  • Give 5-minute Time Outs with 2 minutes of silence at the end.
  • Carefully limit the number of behaviors for which Time Out is used and use consistently.
  • Use Time Out consistently for chosen behaviors.
  • Don’t threaten Time Out unless you’re prepared to follow through.
  • Ignore child while in Time Out.
  • Use nonviolent approaches such as loss of privileges as a back-up to Time Out.
  • Follow through with completing Time Out.
  • Hold children responsible for cleaning messes in Time Out.
  • Support a partner’s use of Time Out.
  • Don’t rely exclusively on Time Out — combine with other discipline techniques, such as logical consequences and problem solving.
  • Expect repeated learning trials.
  • Build up bank account with praise, love, and support.
  • Use personal Time Out to relax and refuel energy.
  • Use Time Out for destructive behaviors and times when you’re child’ misbehavior cannot be ignored.  Start by choosing just one behavior to work on.  When that behavior is no longer a problem, choose another behavior to work on.
  • Give immediate Time Out for hitting and destructive acts.  However, for noncompliance, one warning may be given.
  • Ignore inappropriate behaviors, such as screaming, whining, teasing, arguing, swearing, and tantrums.
  • Praise positive behavior as often as possible.

Part 7 of 13

Posted in Resources

How Do Great Parents…Set Limits

Friday, April 20th, 2012

Setting Limits

(material provided by The Incredible Years, Carolyn Webster-Stratton, Ph.D.)

  • Don’t give unnecessary commands.
  • Give one command at a time.
  • Be realistic in your expectations and use age-appropriate commands.
  • Use “do” commands.
  • Make commands positive and polite.
  • Don’t use “stop” commands.
  • Give children ample opportunity to comply.
  • Give warnings and helpful reminders.
  • Don’t threaten children; use “when-then” commands.
  • Give children options whenever possible.
  • Make commands short and to the point.
  • Support your partner’s commands.
  • Praise compliance or provide consequences for noncompliance.
  • Strike a balance between parent and child control.
  • Encourage problem solving with children.

Part 6 of 13

Posted in For Parents, Resources

How Do Great Parents…Develop Tangible Rewards

Tuesday, April 17th, 2012

Tangible Rewards

(material provided by The Incredible Years, Carolyn Webster-Stratton, Ph.D.)

  • Define appropriate child behavior clearly.
  • Make the steps small.
  • Gradually increase the challenge.
  • Don’t make programs too complex — choose one or two behaviors to start.
  • Focus on positive behaviors.
  • Choose inexpensive rewards.
  • Have daily rewards.
  • Involve your child in choosing rewards.
  • Get the appropriate behavior first, then reward.
  • Reward everyday achievements.
  • Gradually replace rewards with social approval.
  • Be clear and specific about rewards.
  • Have a varied menu.
  • Show your child you expect success.
  • Don’t mix rewards with punishment.
  • Consistently monitor the reward program.

Part 5 of 13

Posted in For Parents, Resources

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